anthony’s account of our harrowing kayak trip from hell
Disclaimer: This is Anthony Tarabini’s account of our late Sunday afternoon kayaking trip on August 8th, 2004. A story that illustrates just how important it is to be prepared before you try something way, way, way beyond your skill level. The following is taken directly from Anthony’s e-mail and has been slightly edited for spelling, grammar, and good taste. None of the photos on this page are from the actual trip HOWEVER they are included to give the reader a frame of reference… and to keep the people with short attention spans from closing this window. Most of these pictures are sourced from this awesome site. Please, sit back and enjoy…
Dude,
You won’t believe what a dumb ass I was the other day. We hit a section of the American with class III rapids on it and a class III+. And we so weren’t ready for it. We went at the wrong time of day. Ran it pretty much blind and got jacked up. It was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I was in a Dagger Juice. I have since decided it will be a while for I’m ready for a boat like that and will now be doing some demos in river running boats and not play boats. 
So the day started with us getting schooled at soccer by a team we should have beat. After that Ben and I headed to my house to meet up with our other buddy to hit a 5 mile section of the north fork of the American River. The take out was about 10 mile north of Auburn. We get off the highway and head down this windy paved road, which happen to turn into this crazy windy, washed out dirt road. For 3 miles this road winded down toward the river. We finally make it to the bridge at the take out and notice that the river isn’t running very much and looks like we would be hiking more than kayaking. We decide to leave the truck there and go to the put in to see if it looked any better. So back up the windy dirt road and back to where we got off the highway to head north a few more miles and down another windy road, which soon turned dirt and just as bad as the first road we were on. We make it to the put in and find that the river really isn’t run-able. Then I notice in the book on kayaking trips it says the boating season for this stretch of the river is spring. Definitely a beautiful drive but it did burn off the entire morning.
We decide to head up to Coloma and run the class II section that we did the day before. But I talked to guys into trying the Chili Bar run on the way there. Hey it is class III but we can do it. Those class IIs are way easy. How hard can it be? It is 5.8 miles, it is 3pm and we have plenty of daylight left. So everyone agrees to try it. We get to Chili Bar and at the put in there is a crazy class III rapid staring us right in the face. Damn that looks crazy big! So let’s do this. We put in after the big rapid and started down river. After about a half mile down we hit our first big class III+ rapid, Meatgrinder. They don’t call this rapid Meatgrinder for nothing either. Ask Aquiles. This rapid is long too, some call it the Quarter Mile Rapid. Aquiles fell out of his boat early into this rapid and Meatgringer went to work on his body. He got beat up pretty good. I fell out about half way through and didn’t really take too many bruises from this rapid. Ben made it the furthest before falling out and made it through unscathed.
We continue down river and come across a class II+ rapid called Racehorse Bend. Ben and I make it through this rapid and helped Aquiles get back into his boat again. I paddled down to the next rapid to take a look at it. I wanted to find a place to get out of the boat and check out the rapid before we went over it. I couldn’t really find a spot where I could get out of the boat so I paddled back to Ben and Aquiles to let them know. I decided to go first and see if I could pull over and hike back to give them the go ahead. So I go blind into a class III rapid called Maya. And let me tell you Maya kicked my ass. I fell out and was using the boat for a little protection. The front of my boat slammed into a rock and then the boat slammed into my face catching me under my right eye. Damn that hurt! I’m sure if my eyes weren’t filled with river water they would have teared up a little bit. My left foot slams into a rock. Where the hell is the surface? I would really like a breath of air. Is this freak’n life vest working? How long can this take? Finally!!!! I made it. I get myself and my boat out of the water and find a big chunk of plastic missing from the bow of the boat. Wow! Glad that wasn’t my head. Then I see Ben roll through – still in his boat. Way to go Ben! I ask “Where is Aquiles?” He replies “I don’t know he was still on the other side.” I hike up the rock and work my way around a small ledge trying not to fall back into the rapid that just punished me for taking her for granted. I showed her my respect by keeping my distance between me and her rushing water. Hiking back I find Aquiles standing on the shore. He looks at me and I can tell that he has had enough. He decides to hike back out the mile and a half. There was no way Ben and I were getting our boats back past that rapid so I tell him we will push on and get a ride back to the truck at Chili Bar, since Aquiles left his keys locked in the truck at the put in we wouldn’t be able to return in his truck. And not knowing if he would make it back to Chili Bar with his gear before we did we decide to hang on to the keys and he could just wait for us if he got there first. On the hike back I decide to climb over the top of this rock and give myself more room between me and the edge of the river. I look up and see a gurney tied to a tree. Seems Maya has punished others in the past.
Ben and I get back into our boats and push on. God this boat is squirrelly. Why am I always upside down? Oh well. I have my Eskimo roll down now. We hit a little class II rapid called the Rock Garden Rapid. I seem to remember falling out here and couldn’t roll because it was to shallow. And let me tell you it was a rock garden, just ask either one of my ass cheeks. Both of them are cut and bruised. We make it 2 miles in to the trip and run a class II rapid called the African Queen. We cruise right through this rapid with out any difficulty. Here we go again 2.8 miles in and we run up against Triple Threat a class III rapid. So here is a little tid bit of info from the website I have linked below [editor's note: not actually linked below!]. “Not surprisingly, Triple Threat has three drops, and all three can be run down the middle, with lots of bouncing and fun”. Fun my ass! I go over the first drop and there is like a 4 foot wave in front of me. I lean forward and punch through it. When I come up I get flipped over. I’m upside down thinking “I’m not getting out of this freaking boat again”. I roll upright with such force that I went right back over the other way. I roll again and take the second drop backwards. How many freaking times am I going to be upside down? The nose plug hanging from my helmet was a waste of money. It never seems to be on my nose when I actually need it. Oh well, that is the least of my problems. I roll back over and make it through the last drop with out a problem. But damn am I tired and dizzy. I think I just went through the spin cycle on my washing machine. Ben and I pull over at a day use spot at the 3 mile mark to catch our breath. I hop out of my boat to see what the river has in store for us. OMG my freakin foot hurts. I take a few steps and try to remember what I hit that was making it hurt so much. Then I remember. Maya! You little bitch.
Ben and I drink some Gatorade and get ready to get back into the boats and finish what we started. We head down river. We come across some small rapids along the way, but nothing to speak of until we get back into civilization. Houses and campgrounds on both sides of the river. We can’t die now right? There are people swimming in the river. It can’t be that bad now. Then off to the left I see Troublemaker. A class III+ rapid that I really wasn’t in the mood to go through. I see some kayakers paddling back up in to Troublemaker’s big wave to surf it. I decide to go to the right and check it out since it looks calm on that side of the river. As I approach the calm water I get pulled into a current and realize I now stuck going over a 4 foot waterfall. Oh well! I lean a little too far forward and enter the water nose straight down. Hey, go figure, I’m upside down again. I roll again and paddle away from the water fall. I see Ben out of his boat and no where near it. So off to the races I head for his boat and try to rodeo it to the shore. The problem is the current is swift in the area and made it very hard to paddle and pull the boat along. I get his boat turned upright and make it to the side. 
The problem was there really wasn’t anywhere to get out and the current is still moving pretty good. I get pull over and was able to grab a tree and flip back over. But I lost Ben’s boat in the mean time. Now I’m under a tree and the branches are scratching the crap out of me. And I get flipped over again. I try to grab a branch to right myself again and just pull it through my hand, removing any skin that didn’t want to stay attached. So off to the races again. I catch back up to Ben’s boat at the Coloma Bridge. The website states “Built in 1917, also known as the “one-way bridge.” No parking or river access.” River access my ass! I’m getting out of this boat. A couple standing on the shore helps me get Ben’s boat out of the river. I limp across the street to look for Ben. I find him floating down river looking for me and his boat. I call to him and he gets out of the water and we head to the store at the Coloma Resort. Problem is we have no money for the pay phone. And even if we did, we didn’t know anyone’s phone number anyway. The store owner comes out and asked if we need help. Ben’s leg is bleeding a little bit and I’m limping around her porch. She let us use the phone in the store and I was able to remember my sister number. So about an hour later my sister, brother-in-law and niece show up and take
Ben and I back to his truck at Chili Bar. When we get there we find Aquiles with no shirt on, a paddle in his hand and no boat. He was able to hike the boat out about a mile of the way, but left it behind and walked the last half mile out with out it. Ben and my Brother-in-Law (Will) hiked in and got the boat. I tried but I was moving so slow I wasn’t of any use to them. Seems on the way out Will broke his flip-flop and hiked out on the sharp rocks barefoot. Made me feel bad about whining about my foot.
This trip is by far one of the stupidest things I have ever done. But OMG it was exciting, scary as hell, and one of the most incredibly fun trips I almost died on. I can’t wait to do it again. Just a lot safer next time.
Ant out